


Thoughts

by Pomelofangirl



Series: Feelsy feels of feels. [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Rin having self esteem issues and thinks very low of himself, kinda sad, what I believe he thought of during episode 10 of season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 21:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2204316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Don’t cry if you lose”</i><br/>Why would Haru care though, if Rin cried? What is it to him, what does it matter now when he has his team that Rin is not a part of?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda important:  
> This fic was written before any preview of season 2 was even out.  
> It doesn't take into consideration any happenings from high speed 2 either.
> 
> It's just what I think Rin thought when he sat alone in his room in ep 10 of season 1.

Rin wonders where it all went wrong.

Why he is remembering the best two months of his life while sitting in the dark of his room at Samezuka and what did the words _“I will show you a sight you’ve never seen before”_ really mean to him.

He wanted to somehow convince Haruka to swim with him back then, but the guy just turned his head away from him. 

To Rin, that sentence represented the friendship they all had begun while training for that relay.

He didn’t intend to get _so_ attached to them; transferring to Iwatobi was just a step to a brighter future.

Yet here he is reminiscing and being attached to them even 5 years later.

He knows that he won’t be free if he doesn’t race with Haru again. Race him… prove that he is better than him.

Except since Makoto told him that Haru thought there was something more to swimming than winning, Rin wasn’t sure if beating Haruka in a race is what he really wants. 

So he goes to practice but he doesn’t pay any attention to anything besides his own swimming. He doesn’t particularly care if this team wins, because it didn’t feel like his team like they worked for something together to archive the best result and Rin just wanted to swim with his friends again. 

Rin was mad and jealous and a little sad that they found a replacement for him after all. But wasn’t this the case when he was away too?

When he met Haru that winter holiday the water freak talked to him about a pool they had in middle school so he surely swam some relays without him.

There were probably many tournaments without him. So it wasn’t the first time they had somebody else to take Rin’s place.

Thinking about that… hurt him a bit.

Still, Haru seemed different when he met him in middle school, now when he thinks about it. He was actually _smiling_ at him. And Rin wondered why.

Because the Haruka Nanase he knows doesn't smile.

_“Don’t cry if you lose”_

Why would Haru care though, if Rin cried? What is it to him, what does it matter now when he has his team that Rin is not a part of?

What did you see that day Haru? What is the thing that helped you to be the person you are right now?

What is it?

Or maybe, Rin only imagined it.

The Haruka he met after his return seemed calm and not expressive as usual.

Rin’s prescence in his life had probably no effect on him. Not that much impact as Rin would wish it had.

Haru probably forgot whatever it was that allowed him to open up a little bit more than usual.

_“Show me that sight again; I’ve forgotten what it is I saw.”_

Yeah. If he forgot it then there was no way it was anything important to him.

But even if he realized that, Rin still felt the need to swim with Haruka. Because everything seemed to be better when he was with Haru. He felt alive again and the purpose of his swimming returned that day they first raced.

Rin actually had fun swimming right then.

That is why, he tried to do his best at the practices for the regionals, but it was one thing he overlooked.

He tried his best, without consideration for the other team members.

And that is what probably led him to being kicked out of the team the night before.


End file.
